Saturday, August 13, 2005
i`m not as happy as u think.suddenly i feel like blogging.so here i m.playing moi ro till half way,i pour everything out to yong.got to thx him for listening.i still hab lots more to pour out.don wanna fan ppl le.so turn to my blog!haish.felt so sad.it all start wit,mi bottle-ing up everything to myself.so guys, whenever u all feel sad, just let it out.don keep it inside.if not u will b like mi one day.feeling sad even cos of little little things.but even though i wan to pour out.i don know who to turn to.seriously.cos i`m lazy to tok , lazy to type so i didnt tell anione moi prob [blame myself n noone]unless they realli realli wan to know.tts why i ended up wit all these probs.haish.ever think of mi?i bet u all didnt.i felt so lonely.i don know why.i know i hab frens wit mi.but. i just felt tt way.i`m lonely.seems to mi tt , noone cares.realli.tts how i feel.n . tts how i hab been feeling all this while.i wanted to cheerup.i wanted to hab a veri happy life like others did.always wondering why all of u can b so happyi admit i`m happy sometime.n ish onli sometimes.most of my time, i`m rather acting then being myself.acting to smile when i know i cantwat ever things that hurt mi, i didnt voice out.i tot this would help but no. it didnt.maybe by saying mi, it helps u all to b happybut it does not goes the same to mi.u were jealous of mi.wat other things i can say?i don mean to b higher then u.i did stop n don lv cos i scare u r angry but in the end, i think tt i deserve my own lv.no matter wat,i`m still myself.noone can stop mi.not even u.who aks u to slack. if u don, u might b higher le.blame on urself.don b jealous n cause mi to scold myself.yesh i admit, i`m jealous too.jealous cos u make mi jealous.everything i`ve lost make mi feel sad yet u don seem to care.i can feel that u don care at all.i help u in all ways i can.but.. think! n tell urself..did u help mi?no u didnt.not as much as i`ve help u.whenever i need ur help, u were bz.n so.. i got to help myself.but whenever u nid mi, i`m there.even if i`m bz, i`m still there.am i rite?haish.n pls.who ever wans to tag, don ever say i`m acting kind.u r not mi. u don know mi.don b x tra n act to b like a crazy dog saying i`m acting.myabe i`m but just don b x tra.tag onli when u r someone who knows mi. WELL.maybe i appears to b happybut i really hope i can voice out everything so tt i`m not being left out.do u all know i felt left out?yesh. i did.i don know how to voice out too.cant porperly ask mi to say "hey i feel left out" rite?cos u all know. i don dare.i know u all cant stay wit mi forever.but somehow..i`m lacking in one thing.tts love.i cant get the love i used to hab from moi family.i cant get the love i used to get from frens.i cant get it le.=`(rmb tt time ?i walk away very fast.whenever i do so,u will come running to mi asking y .but i was sad cos i finally found out tt.none care animore.i realli wished to be loved.but i`m always getting.. "fake" love.don know how to x plain but tts how i feel bout it.haish.if i continuse typing, it might not end.so let mi end it here.thx for those love tt i used to hab.*the world wont change cos of mi.*noone will change cos of mi too.so i don x pect anithing animore.
what is love?
:)DONEVER FOLLOW MI.5:10 PM;
